Vietnam, an older Jewish couple and a delightful chocolate babka
Ho Chi Minh, formerly known as Saigon, is Vietnam’s capital city, and with a population of over 8 million people it’s one of the country’s densest areas. The city’s unique combination of Western and Asian culture, make it the ideal first stop for Westerners new to the country. That is not to say that Ho Chi Minh doesn’t still provide a massive culture shock; it’s wide roads, which are perpetually filled with heavy moped traffic, and its extensive network of busy back streets, together create the feel of high functioning chaos. Throw in some tropical humidity and you get an experience that is distinctly different from any city located in the West.
Back in 2018, Ho Chi Minh was where I started the 6 months I spent travelling through South East Asia. I wasn’t there for long, but the little time I did spend in the city made a lasting impression. I loved the ancient feel of the Vietnamese architecture and the amazing food that was on offer at every turn. I also found the city’s inhabitants to be particularly welcoming, an example of this would be Michael and Sadie (not their real names), the Jewish couple that I met there.
It was my third day in Ho Chi Minh when Michael and Sadie approached me. I was taking in the aesthetics of the beautiful Tao Dan Park, when I heard someone calling to me in English. I turned and to my surprise, I found a short white couple standing behind me. Michael and Sadie, with smiles that went from ear to ear, introduced themselves with such excitement that I barely had a chance to give them my own name, before I was buried beneath an avalanche of unprovoked conversation.
For several minutes the couple spoke enthusiastically about their lives in Vietnam. They detailed how they had followed Michael’s brother from Belgium to Vietnam decades prior, and had instantly fallen in love with the country. They spoke about the various difficulties they had faced in their professional lives and marriage when they had first arrived in Vietnam, as well as the later joys of being semi-retired there. I managed to briefly mention that I was from London, and in response, Sadie squealed with joy before whipping out her phone, dialling a number and then putting me on a call with her adult daughter who also lived in London. It was a short call; I mostly just listened to their daughter apologise for her parents and thank me for humouring them.
Usually, I would have found being trapped in an uninvited conversation annoying, but on this occasion, it was fine, and I suspect that was because Michael and Sadie were simply impossible not to like. In their late sixties, the greying couple oozed parental affection, while at the same time vibrating with youthful energy and excitement. If you were to picture a pair of aging hippies dressed in traveller chic (think balloon trousers and cotton vests), you wouldn’t be too far off from what they had actually looked like. To this day, I have never met warmer people.
After some time, the conversation became more free-flowing and the couple offered to take me to some of their favourite spots within the city. At first, I was a bit hesitant – as I’m not in the habit of following white people I don’t know to unknown places – but it seemed like a good opportunity for a new experience, so I said yes. I then proceeded to have one of my best days in Vietnam. Michael and Sadie took me to a discrete but very beautiful botanical garden, the city opera house and on a makeshift food tour through the side streets of the city. As we went from place to place, we had lengthy discussions about everything from global politics to how to maintain a healthy sex life through decades of marriage. Michael explaining to me why a man should never take personally the changing requirements of a woman’s aging body, with Sadie nodding enthusiastically behind him, is still one of my most cherished memories from my travels.
Shortly after dinner, I went back to Michael and Sadie’s apartment to have a variety of homemade pastries. Typically, I lean more towards savoury than sweet, but even with that being the case, I would be a liar if I described the chocolate Babka that I had in Sadie’s kitchen as anything less than spectacular. For the first time that day, the three of us discussed racism and antisemitism at length. It was a good conversation that included both respectful disagreement and the comfort of being in the company of like-minded people. I learned a lot around that kitchen table, particularly so when Michael spoke at length about his frustration with Jewish stereotypes, which he felt largely ignored the fact that there are many different cultures and people that fall under the banner of Judaism.
When it came time for me to leave, Michael and Sadie walked me to the door of their apartment building, but before they could open it, the door opened on its own and a young Asian man walked in. The young man, who looked about the same age as myself at the time, froze as soon as he saw Sadie. For the first time that day, the bright smile that Sadie perpetually wore fell from her face and she stomped over to the young man, who was about twice her size, before proceeding to aggressively scold him in Vietnamese. Confused, and a bit taken aback, I turned to Michael who quickly reassured me that everything was fine. He explained that they were the owners of the entire building and that the young man owed them rent.
As I watched Sadie angrily chastise this man in Vietnamese, who’s sullen expression reminded me of a little boy that had been caught misbehaving, I suddenly recalled the Jewish stereotypes concerning overbearing Jewish mothers and angry Jewish landlords, and I burst out laughing. And I don’t mean a small fit of giggles, I mean really earnest from the belly laughter. Michael looked at me confused at first, but then understanding quickly found him and he joined me in my inappropriate laughter.